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The Protagonist

She was more of an idea
Than a person, yet
Her arms reached through
The wrinkled pages
As I was planning
Her defenestration.

“Don't,” she said, holding
My hand steady.
Her typical loquaciousness
Gone in a moment - being
At the rim does that.
Her desperate idea-fingers
Grasping, trying to stop
The Dusk.

I brooded over her
Resistance. This story
Would be knee-deep
In hardship, in never-before-felt
Pain. How could I put her
In the middle of this
Vast dystopian wastebasket
And hope she clamors
Out?

Perhaps I could give her
A companion, a slobber-filled
Canine or a not-so-kindred
Spirit?

I could fill her days
With synchronicity, with a
This-leads-to-that purpose, to fight through
The drawl and the drudge,
The beginning.

In this oneiric world,
More nightmarish than
The last, she would find
Herself at the cusp of
Her Self.

First demure, red lips
Parting only for candy-laced words,
And then later, only
To respect a humble god or command
Her hunger-ridden army
To live.

Yes, I see the smoke
At the perimeter now.
Go, my Dear, go see
Who you are.

--

Mad Words List 5.15.18

Defenestration
Loquacious
Kindred
Synchronicity
Oneiric
Smoke
Perimeter
Rim
Cusp
Demure
Red
Slobber
Dusk
Brood
Vast

--

As an aspiring author and poet, I often devise characters I'm unsure about. I also become conflicted with creating an environment for my characters that is set up to test them, even when I know it is necessary in order to help them grow and change and learn about life. Much like a parent who questions bringing a child into a world where school shootings or disaster happens every day, as an author I question why I'm creating this character, why am I setting them up to fail or to learn? And just like a parent, I have to see the good that comes from being alive, from growing, from learning despite all the struggle and pain. I also have to determine how best to guide them and what messages I want to not only teach them, but readers as well. Through fiction, we find examples on how best to live life. And sometimes giving a life a chance can lead to great things, even your own life.

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